Saturday, February 20, 2010

Lessons of Love

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

Unconditional is uncircumstantial.

Okay, I don't think uncircumstantial is really a word but I think you get what I mean.
Uncondtional love knows no boundaries, circumstances or situations. It is just present in your life; regardless of what you are or what you have done-or not done, Love is all consuming and all encompassing. I have learned that.
My family loves me when I am being mean and angry at the world (they may not like me at that moment, though!). They love me when I am feeling good and make promises to them that I 'forget' about when I get tired and put their needs aside. They love me when I don't love myself. They love me when I become so wrapped up in myself and my needs that I become a horribly, selfish human being.
My family loves me enough to lay beside me on the floor until I wake up. They love me enough to take care of very personal needs when I cannot. They love me.  I love them so much it hurts.
Love is given to me in ways that can't explain its beginning or end. It has been my experience that love is quite tangible. It is tangible in the sense that it overtakes the soul and rushes the heart with warmth and security. It floods my mind with reminders of engulfing hugs and tears we shed together. I wish I could explain my feelings in a more sophisticated fashion but the perfect words seems to escape me.
This disorder, Dysautonomia, is such an unloveable disease-in every sense. It is so easy to hate and despise. Dysautonomia reaches out and taints everything about me and my world. No matter how hard I try to keep me and my disorder seperate, we come together and are one. Somehow-even when I cannot-my family is able to seperate the two. They manage to hate what the disorder has done but not hate me in the process (an accomplishment that I cannot claim to do).
We are just an ordinary family. We falter every day and we make mistakes and hurt each other but I think it is the fact that we can come back to beginning basis of any family, love, and that is what is remembered.

"No sin is so great but the satisfaction of Christ and His mercies are greater; it is beyond comparison. Fathers and mothers in tenderest affections are but beams and trains to lead us upwards to the infinite mercy of God in Christ." -Richard Sibbes

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