Tuesday, July 27, 2010

summer crush

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18

hello friends.

two months? that was my last post? where has time gone? where has the summer gone?

the last few weeks have been difficult, to say the least. each time i feel that i am making progress, something comes along and wipes me off my feet...sometimes, literally!

three weeks ago, i had such a terrible spell that i had to go to the hospital. it was one of the worst ones in 12 years. my sister ( a nurse) could only get a systolic pressure of 50 and only a faint pulse. she said that with a number that low she didn't attempt to get the diastolic. there are about 30-45 minutes that i have hardly any memory of. it was very bad and so very scary for us all.

before my previous spell in may, i was working on a post explaining these "spells" and dysautonomia in general. i haven't been able to finish it yet. you all are so supportive though and take me at my word and encourage me despite my lack of information and explanation.

i have so much i want to share-both good and bad. i have stayed away from blogging because i have been so empty that i could find the strength or energy to share anything.

this particular verse that i included really sums up how i feel. this summer was supposed to be better and it wasn't. i am supposed to be better and i am not. my friends are making important life decisions and i am not apart of them. i feel left behind. i feel alone. i feel crushed. my heart hurts. it is a physical pain-a constant ache for a taste of life.

crushed dreams. crushed hopes. crushed spirit. harsh reality.
it is a bitter pill to swallow.

thank you so much for reaching out to me over the last weeks. your kindness has meant the world. please forgive my neglect. i hope to re-connect soon.

6 comments:

The Pilston's said...

So glad you are back! I was thinking about you today! Know that I am constantly praying for you. LOVE YOU!

The Atwoods said...

Heather, so sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling well. I'm placing you in my prayers today.

jacx said...

Oh Heather, this is tough. Been thinking of you a lot. You take care of yourself and never worry about keeping in touch with people. And don't give yourself heartache about life passing you by, one day you will laugh and say 'how did I get from there to here?!!' much love,Jac.

Kelly said...

Hope to talk to you soon <3

quietspirit said...

Heather:
My summer hasn't been good either. We lost Hubby's sister on Jun 17, eleven days after she fell and hit her head.
Not quite three weeks later, I had to take Hubby to the ER. We have had tests this week. He sees a surgeon this Friday.
I still have you on my prayer list.

laitae said...

Dear Heather! It breaks my heart to read such a sad post from you. Hang in there and don't give up! Love, Agnes

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