It is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is Well With My Soul

 Horatio Spafford 

I love this song. It is my song. It is my song in the sense that it speaks the words that my heart feels. Even on the really, really bad days. This whole thing -this gut-wrenching, devastating, suffocating thing- is okay. 

My heart is at peace with God's work even when my head is saying otherwise.

Christ regarded my helpless state. 
That one line in this wonderful song had escaped me until this weekend. 
Among other things, regard means:

1). to have respect or concern for 2). to think highly of 3). to take into account; consider

 

He planned ahead. He planned for this unthinkable situation that I didn't plan for. He has continued to bring people into my life to help me through each day. The last ten years are full of God's loving plan. It has been full of loving souls that have been sent to help me find my way.

 

 source

 

When I am down and confused and feeling alone, I remember each precious soul that has been placed in my life. I think about what they look like, what they sound like and I remember what their role has been during this difficult time. 

It is pretty overwhelming. It is such a beautiful reminder that long ago before I was ever created..

Christ regarded my helpless state and he chose to send me miraculous lifelines that catch me just when I feel my feet slipping from under me.

 

It is a beautiful thing.