Sunshine somewhere behind the clouds.

Hello Friends!!

Do you remember me?! How long has it been...

Don't answer that...because it depresses me.

Before I continue, I just want to say that your emails (that I haven't responded to) your beautiful Polyvore sets (that I haven't been able to take in) and your cards and your prayers have really overwhelmed me! You all have been true friends! I drop off the face of the earth -literally- and you all surround me with love and care. I am so thankful for you all!

 

Well, I will try and explain my absence from the internet. My blog, polyvore...the world really. I was completely bed bound the months of November and December. It was a really lonely and very sad time. I became so sick and so weak. It was just really defeating. I am not going to lie. I was so weak and sick that I couldn't even get online. It just wasn't good. I wasn't able to leave home and do our normal family Christmas traditions-which meant my family stayed home with me. My Mom went out of her way to make sure my bedroom was super-duper "Christmasey"! 

 Oh, I also got an iPad! :) Yay! I am hoping the next time I get dressed to go to the doctor, that I will have enough time to do a little video and put on here. 

I am feeling a little better now that I was before the new year. I am taking a new medicine called Plaquenil. It is used to treat RA and Lupus (as well as other things). It has been the first medicine in a long time that has made a slight difference in my symptoms and I am REALLY excited. It helps with my fatigue. (Which is my number 1 symptom). I am now able to move around the house a little bit easier and I don't get as tired when I talk with my family. I can even eat some meals at the table! HUGE! I know that doesn't sound like much but it really is a huge deal.

Also, I am taking my online class at the University! So, so happy about that!! I feel like I am accomplishing something when I am doing school work. I was worried that after nearly 3 years away from school that I would have a hard time getting back in the swing of things but so far it has been good. I have to pace myself because I get really tired after studying but it is so worth it!

I really have a lot that I want to share with you all.

I love you all so much and I really am going to try and update a little more now that I am able! 

And if any of my Polyvore friends are reading this- I CANNOT wait to get back there to you guys! I miss you all so much!!

 

Long overdue: Surgery Results

The last couple of weeks have been crazy. Seriously. Very crazy. I was in the hospital two weeks ago because I had another one! It was not fun. I forget how absolutely terrible hospitals are. 

And last Monday, I had my laparoscopic surgery. The doctor thinks that he may have found what is wrong.

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When I first saw the pelvic pain specialist that performed my procedure last week, we discussed several possibilities that could be causing my severe pain and those horrible spells that I have. He prepared me for what he expected to find in my abdomen and pelvis during the laproscopic procedure. The doctor believes that I have something called Pelvic Congestion Syndrome. Simply put, Pelvic Congestion is like having varicose veins in your pelvis. Its cause is not known and its treatment is difficult. The doctor marked my abdomen with two big "X's" before surgery, the two points where my pain is the worst during an episode. He said that when he looked in my abdomen, two large, dilated veins connecting to my uterus were directly under the two "X's" he had marked. If those veins weren't directly under those marks, I may not have been as convinced but it was difficult to argue with such a pinpointed find.

I have a DVD and photos from surgery. The photo that he showed me of the dilated veins was amazing. On the left side (where the pain is) the two veins were so large, clearly visible and purple in color versus the right side (where there is no pain), where no veins were visible and all you could see was pink, healthy tissue.

I really didn't want to include a photo because I felt that may be too much information. So, I sort of made a crude example to give you a better idea of what I am talking about.

The good news was that after my previous surgeries from the car accident in 1994, I had very little scar tissue on my left side. My right side was another story. He said that my right side was quite scarred and the right side of my large intestine was covered with scar tissue and slightly connected to my abdominal cavity. He took no action (something we had previously discussed) because he didn't want to cause any problems that I wasn't already having. Which was fine with me. He said that I was at risk for a future bowel obstruction because of the scar tissue and I would have to watch for warning signs but it really isn't something that I have to worry about.

He also found a small amount of endometriosis that he removed. He said that it only takes a teeny tiny amount of endometriosis to cause pain, so hopefully removing it will help. And he also found a small polyp in my uterus that was removed. It may have also contributed to some of my pain. 

So, there were definitely some problems that only surgery could address. I am glad that I was able to have these things looked at and addressed. I was also able to openly and comfortably talk about pain management with my doctor; something that can be very uncomfortable to do. I have found that doctors are not willing to discuss aggressive pain management openly. I understand their caution but sometimes, aggressive treatment is warranted. I appreciated his understanding and willingness to work with me and LISTEN to me. 

I cannot begin to tell you how compassionate this wonderful doctor is.

I have some more things that I want to share about last week and the last few days but I don't want to bore you anymore today! 

Thank you so much for your kindness, love, prayers and support.

Never Giving Up

I stared this post on Sunday evening and it started like this...

"I think it is okay to call last week a rough week. Unfortunately, no good news this week.Well, I take that back. There is always a little good news. Sometimes, I just have to dig deep to find it."

 

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Well, I am glad that I didn't have the energy to finish because yesterday (Monday) was a GREAT day!  My GI doctor has yet to come to the bottom of my problems, despite is thorough evaluations and tests.

I went to the ER twice over the weekend with those same horrible spells! (Are y'all tired of seeing that word yet?!) My visit Sunday was terrible. It was my 7th visit since July and it was suggested that my pain was due to a Psychiatric problem. My Mom and I were devastated. When you have something that people don't understand and you know that it is in fact, VERY real and VERY painful...to be told that it is in "your head" is so painful to the spirit. It cracks it a little bit and it takes a while for that feeling to heal. 

I received a call yesterday from the office of a respected Pelvic Pain Specialist that they had a last minute cancellation and they needed me there in an hour. Now, keep in mind that:

1. I live 40 minutes from his office and 2. I was still in my PJ's!  3. I had to get there because my original appointment wasn't until January.

Somehow, someway we got there in time!

You guys, this doctor was amazing. Everything you could ask for in a doctor, this man was. He was kind, understanding, compassionate, honest and most importantly he validated my frustration and how painful these spells are.

 

After spending over an hour with him, we decided to precede with a laparoscopic procedure. He wants to get inside my abdomen and try and find what is causing my problem-whether it be scar tissue from my previous surgeries after the car accident or something like endometriosis. Normally, the procedure would be done through or around the naval but because my incision from my 3 previous surgeries is right next to my naval, a two inch incision will be made under my left rib cage. I will be in the hospital overnight for pain management and evaluation. 

He did warn me that with so many previous surgeries that this was a risky procedure for me. He said that there was a much higher risk of injury to my intestines (again from previous surgeries and the possibility that large amounts of scar tissue will be present). He also told me that there was a 20% to 50% chance that there would be too much scar tissue present and an organ would be damaged and they would have to call in a general surgeon to open my old scar and repair any damage. That does scare me a little but I honestly don't think that will happen. I feel that I am in very good hands.  

 

The doctor told me that these issues were most certainly not in my head and he honestly didn't know what was wrong but he felt there were big pieces of a puzzle missing and we could get some answers through this procedure. And I completely agree with him.

He told me the procedure could be as early as next week or as far away as next month. So, I don't have a date but I will be sure to update when I know a definite day.

I want to thank you all again so very much, from the bottom of my heart, for your prayers and love. I know that during this time, the Lord will hear prayers on my behalf, and I thank you.

 

Thank you for taking this journey with me. Thank you for believing me and encouraging me. Thank you for loving me.

Good News

"What is this?", you ask.

Well this would be the 

University of Alabama...where I will be returning in the Spring!! 

Woohoo!!

That is right, friends! I am registering for classes!
I won't be going to campus but I changed my minor and I will be able to take classes for my new minor online. I am really, really excited. This is a HUGE step. Maybe one day soon, I will be able to actually return to campus. 

I had to reapply for admission to the school because I have been out too long. I only have a month to get everything in order because I have to register in October. 
I  am hoping that everything will go quickly and smoothly. I am already a little anxious.

I just wanted to share my good news with everyone! 

Good News & Bad News...

I am using the words of my doctor.

Okay, I had my *lovely* (please not sarcasm!) colonoscopy last Wednesday. The prep on Tuesday was not nearly as terrible as I had feared; thank goodness! I had imagined that it was going to be awful! I was feeling a little weak as the day went on because I couldn't maintain my fluid balance and my blood pressure dropped a little bit but I didn't have a spell. 

My appointment was at 6am on Wednesday. I will schedule all my future tests that early if I can. It was so nice because I was the first patient-so I was in and out; there wasn't much waiting. So nice.

My colonoscopy was great. No abnormalities whatsoever. Which is great for the obvious reason, no one wants something wrong but bad because we still don't know what is making me have those horrible spells!  

Obvious things are all coming back as normal. As crazy as this sounds I just want them to come in the room as say, "We have smoking gun!" And show me abnormal blood tests or point to a scan and say, "Ah, here it is!"

I have faith that God heard our prayer that first appointment with the GI doctor and He will eventually lead me through this valley. But my goodness, I am not patient!