just wanted the world to know...

I have had a couple of better days and I have enjoyed them so much! I haven't done anything major but I have just been more comfortable. (I even did a couple of loads of laundry and that made my Mom happy!)

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Tonight, I am having dinner with my best friend Becca. I am so excited. 

I feel it is important to share when I am having a better day (or two!) because you all share in the down times and it is important to celebrate the up times together too!

 

It is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is Well With My Soul

 Horatio Spafford 

I love this song. It is my song. It is my song in the sense that it speaks the words that my heart feels. Even on the really, really bad days. This whole thing -this gut-wrenching, devastating, suffocating thing- is okay. 

My heart is at peace with God's work even when my head is saying otherwise.

Christ regarded my helpless state. 
That one line in this wonderful song had escaped me until this weekend. 
Among other things, regard means:

1). to have respect or concern for 2). to think highly of 3). to take into account; consider

 

He planned ahead. He planned for this unthinkable situation that I didn't plan for. He has continued to bring people into my life to help me through each day. The last ten years are full of God's loving plan. It has been full of loving souls that have been sent to help me find my way.

 

 source

 

When I am down and confused and feeling alone, I remember each precious soul that has been placed in my life. I think about what they look like, what they sound like and I remember what their role has been during this difficult time. 

It is pretty overwhelming. It is such a beautiful reminder that long ago before I was ever created..

Christ regarded my helpless state and he chose to send me miraculous lifelines that catch me just when I feel my feet slipping from under me.

 

It is a beautiful thing. 

Here and There

I think this post from last year, pretty much sums up how I feel right now.

However, this year, I am currently not having daily headaches and for that, I am so very thankful!

Basically I am here (here, being my bed) and I want to be there, (there being anywhere but here!).

I am trying daily to remind myself of what I am thankful for. I talk out loud and try to convince myself that today is going to be okay. But days are not okay here lately.

Here is not okay with me. This is not okay! I just want to feel better. How many times have I said that before on this blog? A lot! I just want to feel better.

Here are the things that I am thankful for!

my family. :)

Holly! Especially when she wakes up from a nap and comes up from the cover to greet me.

And I am also thankful that I have nice, warm bed to be sick in. Not everyone has that.

Friends

Books

Music

my iPod

the internet

my internet friends

i am also pretty excited but the upcoming fall weather!

Roses

Happy Friday!

“Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.”

-Voltaire

My Mom's roses. Lovely as bloom but even better in my pretty vintage vase in my bedroom.

Flowers make everything better! Don't you think?

I am still trying to gather my thoughts and try to put them down in one place. My mind seems to be anything but focused. I really do have so much to share with you all. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me over the last few days. It means the world. Truly.

Memories

“Memories are the treasures that we keep locked deep within the storehouse of our souls, to keep our hearts warm when we are lonely.”

~ Becky Aligada

(from here).

I consider my memories and my ability to recall memories a true blessing. It is a little freaky at the details of my life-and the lives of others-that I am able to recall! Friends will sometimes turn to me and ask me to give them the details of a moment in their life because they know that I will remember. Now, this gift can seem a bit on the stalker side when in the dating world...so I have to remember to be careful when I share certain details of events. Otherwise, I can raise a few eyebrows! ha!

I suppose that my detailed memory could leave me bitter or sad when I think of the past and dwell on happy moments but I have found that it is quite the opposite. I feel exhilarated and hopeful. I enjoy soaking up the details of the past in my mind and heart. I love reliving a wonderful moment in my heart. God has given me thousands of lovely memories to look back on and enjoy. I am so thankful.

Of course, I think this gift from God can be detrimental to us if we choose to live in the past and dwell on what was and not find the joy in what is. Because I promise you, there is always joy, somewhere, somehow, in some tiny place in any current situation. I think we have to make the most of each moment given to us because we never know what the future holds for us and we never know when we will need our precious and joyful memories to supply us with a big 'ol dose of hope in the now.

So be sure you make some precious memories this Christmas season and be sure to store them up in your heart for any possible future use (and enjoyment)!

Merry Christmas!

I wanted to share sweet Joyeuse!

Hello Everyone.

This sweet little girl is now my sponsored child from Compassion International. I am so excited. Everyone, please meet Joyeuse. She and her family live in Rwanda. After Kelly from Kelly’s Korner went on her Compassion trip to El Salvador, so many blogs I was reading either already sponsored a child through Compassion or they have begun their sponsorship in the past few days. I visited the Compassion website and only two words come to mind: overwhelmed and heartbroken. So many precious faces staring at me...how was I ever going to choose? I started looking through the pages of children from Africa because I have had an affection for Africa for several years that I can’t really explain. So many faces were piercing my heart and then I saw Joyeuse and the tears came rolling down my face and I knew that I had found "my child".

I waited a few days. I didn’t want to rush into this because it is a big commitment and I wanted to make sure that it was something that the Lord wanted me to do. I know that sounds crazy! Why wouldn’t God want me to sponsor one of His precious children? But I wanted to make sure that I heard God and not myself. So, I canceled my Netflix subscription (the money I used for Netflix I am now going to send to help Joyeuse) and I waited a few days. Seriously, I think I have enough movies of my own. I can do without Netflix. Tuesday night, I made if official and I am now Joyeux’s sponsor. I am so happy. I shared it with my family last night and they are equally excited and want to help too. Yay! So, to the many Compassion International Sponsors out there, thank you so much for speaking to my heart.

sweet simple things.

My photo has nothing really to do with my post. I just love that Anthropologie teacup and I was so excited that it was cool enough to drink some hot Tazo tea! Yes, hot tea makes my weekend complete. What can I say? I am simple girl.

In far more exciting news, I was able to see my two best friends last night! (I am so tired and very sick today but I don't mind; last night was well worth it!) Kim moved to Maryland two years ago to teach high school math because she just rocks! My friend Becca and I cheered together in high school and I haven't seen her since February. And my dear blogger friends that is just a crime! So, I rested up all day on Thursday and Friday. My sweet Mom carried me to Tuscaloosa amidst the Homecoming traffic and I had dinner with Kim at place called, Tokyo. I had Sushi and and I loved it! I also had Edamame (steamed soybeans with course sea salt) for the first time. They were actually good! My Mom is used to driving me places and waiting in the car for me. (She is so good to me.) After dinner, Mom carried me over to the University of Alabama campus where Becca's in-law's were tail-gating in their motor home. And to top all the excitement, Becca's sweet baby Jay was there! He has gotten so big! He will be 1 on December 10. I got to feed him and we played "This Little Piggy".

I haven't seen any people besides family and doctors in months. Last night was like Disneyland for me! I cried after I got home and got in the bed. I was so happy.

Although fatigue has set in and a monster of a migraine is knocking on my door, the euphoria from last night has not worn off. Best friends. Babies. Cold Weather. Hot Tea. God is so good!

"Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and all comfort." - 2 Corinthians 1:3