Six Months Later...

Hello dearest Friends! 

I'm still here and I'm still doing wonderfully well!

I am so happy to say that!

Six months since my last post. I have sooo many things to share! All VERY wonderful things! God's blessings continue to pour over me and wash me through and through. I have been thinking about my blog a lot lately. My blog is about hope; an anchor, a tool, an ointment, a promise. How can I leave my blog when I feel like so many of my dear friends prayed for me during my journey? My journey is far from over. I feel like I am just beginning in many ways. (So many ways!) I want to share hope from the other side too; not just from bed but from this great and wonderful world that I am able to live in now. I want to shout, "This is my God and this is what HE has done!" 

This summer was wonderful. I traveled constantly! Oh, such great joys!!

New Orleans, LA, Austin, Texas, Ft. Wayne, Indiana, Panama City, FL, San Francisco, CA
 

Or as I like to call it, "The Heather Thomas Celebration Tour"!!

 

Beignets at Cafe du Monde in New Orleans. I have always loved New Orleans but I decided during this trip that I love New Orleans during the day! The crazy people come out at night and it's just a different city. New Orleans in the day is magnificent! (You know because I am such an authority on travel and all.)

My best friend Kim and her roommate Jimmy. My travel companions to New Orleans and Austin. This was our only photo of the 3 of us during our entire trip. 

 

At my favorite restaurant in Austin, Shady Grove. It was yummy.

 See? Yummy!

Visiting Alex in Indiana!!! Alex and I met several years ago in Arizona and we haven't seen one another since then. It has been about 7 years! It was soooo wonderful to see her and meet her wonderful family!

She is one of my favorite people-ever! I always joked with Alex that she would be the first stop on "The Heather Thomas Celebration Tour". She was the second stop! :)

Beautiful beach trip with friends! 

 

 The first time I have had a tan in about 10 years!!

And the trip of all trips this Summer was a trip to San Francisco to visit the Polyvore team! Y'all it was amazing!! Just amazing!

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 At the airport. On my way! 

My hotel, The Valencia. It was jaw dropping

The famed, Santana Row. Just amazing.

At the Polyvore luncheon with Nadia and Jess.

The Polyvore Office!!! Soooo exciting to see in person!

The Polyvore Staff is truly amazing!! I can't say that enough. Polyvore has encouraged me so much over the years. It is a wonderful community and I am so proud to be a member. They sent me a beautiful Christmas present about 3 years ago because they read one of my blog posts! Not only did they bring a group of us to San Fransisco and treat us like queens but they also gave us a truly outrageous goody bag full of fantastic treats that only Polyvore could pull together! It was an honor and a wonderful to end the Summer!

 "Those who sow with tears
    will reap with songs of joy.

Those who go out weeping,
    carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
    carrying sheaves with them"

Psalm 126: 5-6

I have so much more to share. But it will have to wait. This is much too long as it is. 

So much more good news to come!

 

lessons of beauty.

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassions, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

-Elisabeth Kubler Ross

The most beautiful people that I have ever met were those who had no hair because of chemo, where swollen and puffy because of steriod treatments, had limps because of bone pain due to Sickle Cell or were hiding a secret pain deep down in their hearts. Their beauty came in the form of radaint joy, wisdom beyond their years and love for others who were in need of a compassionate hug or supportive friend. That is beautiful.

An illness, a tragedy, any suffering for that matter, gives our eyes a new view of the world and especially a new view of people. There is nothing more beautiful than the reaching out and grabbing hold of a hand of someone in need. That unspoken bond that is there, saying, "I know your pain. I am here".

Suffering is suffering. Pain is pain. Loss is loss. Heartbreak is heartbreak. Longing is longing. There is no barometer for those feelings. There is no degree of pain. Pain, suffering, heartbreak, longing, they are simplly what they are. No more; no less. The greatest injustice we can do to ourselves and to others, is try and put those feelings of despair on a scale and compare one to another. It is impossible.

There are beautiful people all around us and in every second of our day. We just have to remember to stop for a moment and look at them.

Today, I am thankful for the beautfiul people in my life; near and far.

two good movies. two 'blah' days.

I just rented Love Happens, with Jennifer Aniston & Aaron Eckhart. It was really good. It deals with a lot grief and suffering and overcoming but it was also such a sweet love story. (Plus, Jennifer Aniston's name is Eloise & she is a florist.) Sweet. Emotional. Love story. I liked it. Let me know if you see it and what you think.

The other movie was Julie & Julia. Mom and I went to the theater to see it when it first came out and we really enjoyed it but I had forgotten how cute it was. Meryl Streep was just great and I am a big fan of Amy Adams. It just made me happy. I love the party scene on roof top when Julie completes all of her recipes. It is so pretty.

Isn't it pretty? This photo just makes me happy and makes me want to throw a party!

Migraines, people! Migraines! I think they are the devil, himself! Ah! I have appointment with my neurologist in March and I am trying to be patient but goodness... it is hard to be patient when you are in pain, isn't it?
I have been kind of sad the past few days. I saw my counselor Kelly yesterday. I am always a little bit more emotional after I see her. I think it is because we bring up lots of tough topics that I don't always like to deal with head on like that. I know I sound like a broken record but I can't say it enough. My family is awesome and I am so thankful that at anytime of the day, I can go and talk to them about anything. We cry together, laugh together, and pray together...I have 3 part-time therapists living upstairs! I am so very blessed.
Kelly and I talked about perspective and the importance of gratitude-especially if you are struggling with any type of pain.
So, today I am grateful that I have a wonderful pharmacist who takes care of me and does ALL the hard work that it takes to get me my medicines on time and most importantly, always takes care of the insurance company so that my Mom doesn't have to. Mary is angel!
Is there anything that you guys are particularly thankful for today?

Thou who hast given so much to me, give me one more thing - a grateful heart!

-George Herbert

Week in Review

Hello and again thank you to you all. I cannot tell you what it means to know that I have support and prayers from so many loving friends.

On Monday, November 30th, I arrived at Reston for my appointment with Dr. Abdallah. I had already had 2 ‘near fainting’ episodes earlier in the day but had managed to stay conscious both times. I was very sick and very tired when we arrived. We waited for about an hour and then I was called back to do Orthostatic blood pressures. This is where my blood pressure is taken laying, sitting and standing. These reading are very important for Dysautonomia patients because depending on how the blood pressure and heart rate react with each change of position it can be a sign of underlying Dysautonomia problems that need to be addressed. When I stood, I was able to do so for a couple of minutes and that is all I remember. The next thing I know, I am on the floor with my head wedged between the wall and chair. I didn’t hurt myself too bad. Just a sore head and arm. The nurse didn’t finish the standing pressure readings and had me lay down. After a few minutes of resting, I was taken to another room, to have an echo-cardiogram done. (It is sort of like an ultra-sound of the heart.) This too, is done laying, sitting and standing. Now, when you have this done, you must completely disrobe from the waist up and put on a small, paper shirt that is unbuttoned in the front. I am used to be poked and prodded and after so many years of being sick, honestly my modesty has gone out the window. As the male technician was completing the scan, I had to stand. Basically, all I remember is him asking me to stand. The next thing I remember is this burly man holding me in his arms putting me on the exam table and that horrid paper gown is just not doing the job at this point! ha! He was so kind though, and immediately got my jacket and covered me. I was thinking, "Great, twice in one visit? What are they going to think?" There is still an honest fear that people-including my wonderful doctor-won’t believe me. It is a horrible feeling.
I was then taken to the exam room. My Mom comforted me and we both agreed that we hated that I had fainted at all but if I was going to faint -and twice at that- it was great that I did it in the office so that Dr. Abdallah could see and hear about it firsthand. Last Monday was the first time that I have ever fainted in any doctor’s office.
Dr. Abdallah came in shortly and sat down. I am always a little "fuzzy" after fainting. I couldn’t answer his questions very well. But fortunately Mom could. He only spent about 2 minutes talking and then he looked and me and said, "This is out of control. Out of control. We are going to have to admit you for a few days." Oh, gosh, I lost it. I hadn’t planned on this at all! I just wanted to go home. After he left, Mom came over and reassured me that this was for the best. She reminded me of the last time that Dr. Abdallah admitted me to the hospital. That was several years ago and I literally came home a completely different person. He made me feel so much better. I was sad but my hopes were high. I had/have great confidence in Dr. Abdallah.
So, within about 30 minutes I was in my room at Reston Hospital. I was really happy because I was on the pediatric floor and the nurses are always so very nice on the floor. Reston’s staff is one of the greatest hospital staffs that I have ever encountered!
I was on IV Saline the entire week. Fluids help me tremendously. Many Dysautonomia patients receive fluids at home as part of their treatment plan but that is something that my doctors have never been comfortable with. (I wish they did!) Tuesday was a very long and very rough day. Dr. Abdallah didn’t allow me to take any medicines so that I could start with fresh meds on Wednesday. I was really sick and terribly uncomfortable. I was so happy when bedtime finally came around. I took some medicine to help me sleep and that was the first night that I got a full night’s rest in weeks! I woke up Wednesday feeling like a different person just because I got some decent sleep!
There were several things that Dr. Abdallah found in blood work.
1. My Vitamin D and Calcium were low.
2. My blood count was low. (Borderline Anemia.)
3. And the few blood cells that I did have were very poor quality. They were low on iron and oxygen. So that could explain why I wasn’t feeling well.
Dr. Abdallah began treating me with Procrit injections. You may recognize the name. Procrit is advertised as a medication for post-chemotherapy patients to raise their blood count and allow them to have more energy. The Procrit works by stimulating the bone marrow’s production of red blood cells.
I was on Procrit once before in the Summer of 2001. It didn’t go so well, then. But, things have changed since that time and I am willing to give this a try again. I know what side effects to look for this go-around. I will be giving myself a shot 3 times a week. So, we will see.
Right before we left for Virginia, I wore a heart monitor for 24 hours. I fainted 3 times while I was wearing it. Again, we all hated that I fainted but glad that it could be caught on the monitor. Dr. Abdallah was honest when he explained that he couldn’t tell us what happened during that 24 hour period and he doesn’t know why I am fainting so much because my blood pressure are not dropping significantly.
By the end of week, my Mom and I both knew that I would not be coming home feeling a lot better. As much as I hate to say that, it is the reality. We both cried and tired to encourage one another. We knew it was true when I got in the car on the way home and within 10  minutes, I was dizzy and sick to my stomach. We both started crying.
And then last night, I fainted. Yes, I fainted again. I am really in shock. I am not sad, yet. I know it will come. I know the disappoint will set in a few days. However, I do KNOW that I will feel better again! I ALWAYS do! I just have to wait!
I don’t want to sound like "Debbie Downer". On the contrary, God showed me unconditional love from the four corners of the Earth last week. I am so thankful for my family. They sacrifice so much for me. I can’t explain the miracle that exists in our family.
I do have prayer request. I feel that it will work out but it is still upsetting, nevertheless. The day before we left the hospital, a hospital representative came to my room and dropped a bombshell. Our insurance, denied coverage of my entire hospital visit. The state of health coverage is a huge debate in the US right now. I know everyone has their opinions. Right now, I just want the insurance to pay because it is the right and just thing to do. I honestly feel that God will take care of us, in this situation. Again, maybe I am just choosing not to think about it too much.
Thank you all for reading this post. It is entirely too long and I hope it made some sense! I have a few more things that I would like to share but I think I will save them for another day!
Merry Christmas everyone! and love.

Friends are delightful.

My friend, Jerica stopped by my house today. I didn’t take any pictures because I wasn’t feeling well, I was in my pajamas and I looked pretty rough! I did take a picture of what she brought me.

This is a unique take on "re-gifting"! I gave this to Jerica when we were 11. I am not sure what the occasion was but I know I gave it to her only a few months after the car accident and Jerica was the greatest friend there ever could be to me during that time. I can say, without a doubt that God used her greatly in my life. I wrote the little poem on the poster. It says:

"My Best Friend is wild and crazy

Well spoken and never lazy.

She’s to the rescue when I call.

She makes sure I never fall.

She's there through good and bad,

thick and thin.

And we will always be best friends."

Jerica has held on to this after all these years. She said that it always makes her smile when she looks at it and hoped that it would make me smile during this tough time.

Jerica is just one of those friends that no matter how long we have not seen one another, we just pick right up where we left off. (We haven’t seen each other since August of 2008!)

I have known Jerica since I was 4. She really is a great friend and a great person. She is a true woman of God and I admire her greatly.

Here are a few photos of the two of us during happier times!

New Orleans 2006

 

August 2007

A little impromptu dancing in the Cheesecake Factory parking lot...always memorable.

Summer 2006

Jerica’s Wedding Day! Since we were 4 years old we planned on putting flowers in one another’s hair on our big day. The flowers were quite as elaborate as our 4 year-old selves had planned but this was a 20-year moment in the making. I will cherish this memory forever.

The Beautiful Bride. My Beautiful Friend.

Thanks for coming by Jerica. I am glad that we both know that we are praying for one another! And thank you for my trip down memory lane! love ya!

Are you blessed to have a friend like Jerica? I hope so!

Love. Heather

Remember everyone! I want your address so that I can send you a Christmas card! For more information, read this post!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope you felt very blessed today and that you were all able to hug someone that you love dearly and tell them how much they mean to you.

I have so many things to be thankful for!

{photo from here.}

The Thomas Thanksgiving

My Mom has hosted all of the family's holidays for nearly 30 years. This year we had Thanksgiving at my Uncle Steve and his wife, Patty's home. She was a wonderful host but hates photos. So, I couldn't get a photo with her. Also, my family doesn't like turkey, so we eat ham on Thanksgiving!

My sister, Haley could not celebrate Thanksgiving with us today. But today was not the first Thanksgiving that my sister has missed. Two years ago, Haley, me and my friend Kristen went to Maryland to have Thanksgiving with my best friend Kim. (She had just moved there from AL and wasn't able to come home for Thanksgiving.) So, while the three of us left to go celebrate Thanksgiving, we had to leave Haley behind in Kim's apartment to study for her nursing finals.

But now, my Hay is a nurse! (And I know she is a GREAT one!) So, she had to work on Thanksgiving this year, too. But this time, she was getting paid! ha!

Mom and I right before we left for Steve & Patty's. I am so thankful for my family. i know everyone says this but I really do have the greatest family!

as high as the sky. as deep as the ocean.

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."   ~Washington Irving

happy birthday mother. all my love. by *Heather Thomas on Polyvore.com

Today is my sweet Mother’s 54th Birthday. I didn’t even hesitate to put her age because I have never seen her care about aging. She seems to enjoy each year –and each new wrinkle-as they come! She doesn’t seem to care that she has wrinkles or she is starting to get gray hair. In fact, I think she only recently bought her first “wrinkle serum” for her eyes and she has never colored her hair! I can brag about my Mom because well, she is my Mom and she is pretty dang fantastic! However my sweet Mother will not be so sweet once she finds out that I wrote an entire post about her and included a photo of her!
My Mom (and Dad!) are God’s shining examples in my life of what true, absolute and unconditional love really is. My Mom is my hero in everyway and most certainly my earthly role model. My parents tried for 7 years to have a baby. Those years, while struggling with infertility, were so difficult for them. They were especially difficult on my Mom because all she ever wanted to be was a Mother. My Mother is so gracious and so wise, she praises God for the time that she waited to have a child. She realized early on that God’s time is the perfect time. She is quick to say that she would not be the Mother she is today if she had not waited and wanted a baby for so long.

The relationship with my Mother is indescribable. We know what each other are thinking, with just a look. We know one another’s hearts. When I first got sick, people didn’t believe that I was really sick. People actually believed that I was “pretending” so that I could get attention. Being the loving and wise Mother that she is, my Mother knew better and fought for me every inch of the way and has continued to fight for me everyday for over 10 years. She chose me over doubt. She chose me over the easy way out.

She is my Mother, my caregiver, my mentor, role model and my best friend. Mom, if you get a chance to read this today, I love you more than words could ever say. Everything that I want to be is what you showed me was beautiful. Thank you for loving me. I love you as high as the sky and as deep as the ocean.

I am Wonderfully made. Pt. 2.

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:13-14

for the full Psalm, please go here.

Part 2

Thanks for staying tuned. Thank you for being part of this journey and allowing me to share my thoughts with you.

My Mom has always done something to me and my sister after we got in trouble for behaving badly and I just think it is wonderful. She has done it since we were little girls (and on occasions, stills does it now!). After the fires of an argument died down, she would come and take us by the hand and sit down with us. She would explain what we had done wrong and why in this particular situation, a personality trait or emotional outburst that we were prone to wasn't good for this given moment but she would go on to list all of the possible situations that the very thing that had gotten us into trouble, was a wonderful quality and how one day, it would be put to good use. And that is sort of how I think of God, when it comes to those pesky emotions or personality traits that I am sometimes too quick to act upon. He designed them to be used in the perfect situation and if I seek Him and stay within His hand and will, then He will allow those emotions and behaviors to be used perfectly, just the way He intended.

Not only did God create and perfectly weave together the cartilage in the joints of knees and elbows or allow our eye to adjust to the light perfectly by constricting and dilating the pupil just when it is necessary but He also created our emotions, our feelings, our hearts and souls-and He created them perfectly! He created me in His image.

Now, that is not to say that I use those emotions and feelings and react in the most perfect of ways because I do not. But God created me and He knows my secret thoughts and deepest desires-He knows them because I am His! I can get down on myself a lot because I know I am not perfect and I know that God should not love me but He does. He loves me and took me in as a child of God and a sister of Christ, just the way I was. And when the enemy is whispering into my heart, "Oh, don’t bother, you will never be good enough!", I remember that God created my brain and its ability to create thoughts, my heart and my desires and if I seek Him at every possible opportunity then those thoughts and desires will be more Christ-like and He can use them to glorify and praise Him!

In my psychology classes, we talk about a lot of theories regarding the mind and body. Are they connected? Are they separate operations? I tend to think they are separate entities that work together and one affects the other. I do know that however God intended them to work; He created my mind and my body perfectly. So, whether my mental faculties aren’t where they should be or my physical body is not up to par; I will try to strive for better and try to remember to praise God for walking miracles that exists in each of us, everyday.

{photo from here.}

I am wonderfully made.

“For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

~Psalm 139:13-14

To read the entire of Psalm 139, please go here. It is beautiful.

Part 1

There something that I have learned over the years. It is something that I am not sure that I would have learned or respected had I not been sick. What I have learned is that our bodies are amazing, mysterious and sacred in the most glorious of ways. I don’t know that we always fully appreciate our earthly bodies and their exact synchrony until they aren’t working just right...well; I know it is true for me, anyway.

Today at the ripe old age of 26 and having a body that can feel older than my grandmothers at time makes me say, "Wow, Lord! You have designed a majestic form!" To think that God thought of EVERYTHING and designed our bodies to react accordingly is just mind-boggling! To the tiniest nerve in our fingers and toes and smallest ducts in our stomachs and livers, each system works together and allows us to be who we are and do the things we do and love.

An example of God’s perfect design is how our brains and hearts work together perfectly. (And in my case-not so perfectly!) Our brain can "sense" when we are standing and it quickly sends a message to our hearts, "Come on heart, gravity is pulling blood down to the legs and we need blood and oxygen, beat a little harder", and the heart listens, picks up your blood pressure and you walk down the hall, up the steps and into another room of your home to answer a phone or hug a loved one. And you never even think about how you got there because God already thought about it and told our bodies how to get there years ago, while we were still in "our mother's womb".

Our bodies are wonderful and sacred. Our bodies our God’s holy place. We can think of it as millions of little churches walking around each day and whether your body works just right or whether there are a few "kinks", God designed us magnificently and we need to praise Him everyday for loving us enough to create such a beautiful being as He did, when He created me and you!

Part 2 will be tomorrow. Stay tuned!

{photo from here.}

A new look! What do you think?

Hello! Notice anything different? haha! My blog has been totally made-over and I am head over heels, in love with it! As we would say in the south, "Ain't it purdy?"

Emily, aka, The Blog Fairy, came to my rescue and created this new and wonderful place for me to share my thoughts and for you all to come and visit. I find it much more pleasing to the eyes than the old blog! Dont you?
So, Emily, thank you from the bottom of my heart! You have made my day! (Actually, with this amazing job, I think you "made" the next several days too!)

I am fixing to go to bed but I couldn't go to bed without first saying thank you to Mrs. Emily and thank you to my parents. This was an early Christmas present from them. So, thank you very much Mom and Dad!

PS: Look to the top left and see will see my blog button. Feel free to add the button to your blog so others will know that you are getting a daily dose of Hope!

Today's Thank You

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Today I am THANKFUL for Zofran. I have been very sick to my stomach today and Zofran is my Miracle drug.


I am thankful for my iPod. Thank heavens for beautiful, soothing music.
I am thankful for my doctor and his generosity, kindness and encouragement.



And I thank God everyday for these wonderful people; my AMAZING family!